H

I saw that every "him," "his," and "he" was capitalized, and I knew what that meant. It meant I would never be the number one guy in her life. I would forever strive to reach however high and perfect she'd put this Father. How could anyone compete with that? Didn't matter how clean I got myself, no amount of sponge and soapy water was going to get me to where I needed to go to get the time of day from her.

I relayed this much to my friends. I told them that I met her today, that she was cute, and funny, and we got along for those few minutes. They looked at me cockeyed, they didn't get it. Who cares if this girl loves her god more than she would ever love me? Who's to say she'd even love me at all? Who's to say she even likes me as a human being? But they were missing the point. I at least wanted the chance. The chance to fail, to say something stupid, to make her a picnic and forget that she's allergic to mustard.

I wonder how many people have seen those H's and given up. Slumped in their skin, turned off the screen, killed the fantasy. I wonder how many people have seen those H's and thought, yes, perfect, here is someone who finally understands what so few people understand. Just how small we are.