After the Airport

Besides being what could be a pretty good title for a thing, "After the Airport" is just as it sounds: What you should do after you arrive at the Chicago O'Hare International Airport.

COLLECT YOUR LUGGAGE

Did you carry it all on the plane? Did you check a bag? Whatever the case, make sure you have all your luggage with you. (Ed. note: A lot of suitcases look similar. Adding a piece of flair specific to you that you will recognize can help with confusion later.)

TEXT ME

Let me know you've landed with a quick and simple text message. "Here!" and "Landed!" are both popular options. Conversation to follow.

GET TO THE CTA

Follow the signs that say "CTA" or "TO CTA" or whatever they say, I can't remember. You will go down an escalator, walk down a hall, go through sliding glass doors, probably pass a trumpet player, I think get on a moving walkway, and generally feel like you are in that Berenstain Bears book, Bears in the Night (and, yes, it is BerenstAin and not BerenstEin, strange as it seems).

BUY A CTA PASS

Train fare is $2.25 for the first ride, $0.25 for your first transfer (within 2 hours), and $0.00 for your second (within 30 minutes of the first). HOWEVER. They charge you $5.00 to get on the train at O'Hare. I don't know why. Chicago has a lot of money problems. It's bad.

GET ON THE TRAIN

You want the one going to Forest Park. This shouldn't be too entirely difficult, as there will be a sign that says "Next Train" with an arrow pointing to the train and also it will be the only train you're able to get on.

NOW COMES THE TRICKY BIT

Not really, but that line is a Fawlty Towers reference and I like saying it as much as I can. Depending on the text message conversation we had earlier (see: "TEXT ME") I will tell you to get off the blue line at either the Milwaukee/Grand stop or... somewhere else. Maybe in the Loop, maybe earlier, we'll see. Probably... yeah, we'll probably just stick with Milwaukee/Grand.

MEET UP WITH ME AND BEGIN TO HAVE A FUN VISIT

Self-explanatory.

THE END

See you tomorrow.