Neutralizer

I'll fix your oven. I'll come over and see what's what. I'll even drink your lemonade. I'll tell you what went wrong and where, and what you can do next time so you don't need a guy like me again. I'll put my own self out of business, that's how much I like you.

I could take your dog for a walk, too. If you needed somebody to do that. Dogs, they're not like cats, you gotta let them out and about. So if you're busy (and I know how busy you can get), give me a call. I'm not doing much of anything these days.

You've got cats, too? Do they all get along? Never mind, I'll feed those. I don't have to walk those, do I? I saw a woman walking a cat once. The wrong creature was being pleased. You gotta be careful about what you do these days, who you're really doing it for.

Let's see here, what else, what else... Dust! You got dust? I can get rid of that for you. Also grass, I can cut that. You need it mulched? You got a compost bin? Let me get you a nice compost bin. We're gonna make sure people around you know you care about the world.

You do care about the world, don't you? If you don't, please don't tell me. Let me think you do. Maybe that will be enough.

In fact, it's probably best not to tell me much about you at all. I've built you up so high anything you tell me, no matter how beautiful, will bring me down. I'm not proud of this. It simply is.

OK. This is what I think we should do:

Tell me the worst thing about yourself. Your deepest, darkest, worst thing about yourself. The one thing you always said you would take to your grave. The one thing you never told even your best friend in the entire world. The one thing you didn't even write in your journal, you were too afraid it would be found out. Tell me that one thing. You can trust me. I know you don't, but you can. I promise. Tell me that one thing and I will hate you for it. I will go away and hate you, alone, quietly, and bring you down piece by piece. But even this hatred, strong though it may be, will not be enough to actually bring me to hate you. I won't even dislike you. You will simply not be as magnificent as I thought you to be. Then, and only then, tell me all about you. Tell me every other thing. And I can build you back up, piece by piece, into what you deserve to be. Maybe you will get as high again. You probably will. You will probably only get higher and higher. All you have to do is trust me.

After that, I do not know. We can figure things out from there together. That's the point of this whole thing anyway. The together.

I will tuck you in at night. Read you a story. Sing you a song. Sing to you all through the night, until the sun comes up, until your eyelids rise. You will always hear nothing but music.