I am thus

and brother kill father and father kill son, mother kill son and son kill her back, father kill daughter and still blood seeks blood, blood for blood and blood for riches, riches for nothing and all for naught, heavy lies the crown and all of that, a strange heaviness we crave, another's downfall will not befall us, we are different, we will be the difference, if only we could lead, if only we could rule, the people need a ruler but they do not way to follow, they want to follow but they won't follow you, they'll ask for you yesterday and they'll kill you tomorrow, they'll replace their blood with yours if you don't yours with theirs, this will never end, this cycle, it's Greek to you and it's Greek to me, we are all the same but we will never learn, we can never learn, the second we learn the second we have to stop killing, we will be out of excuses, excuses for our terrible deeds, excuses for our dead and ourselves, excuses for blood and war, peace to war and war to war, no honor to be found, not anymore, the honorable turn villainous and those who don't are exiled, who wants honor when it's turned into this, honor and courage are just jabs from an empty tongue, honor and courage and shame, oath and loss, promise and lie, forgiveness and pain and punishment and even more we inflict on ourselves, on us, and for all of this love, through all of this love, a love to be found and lost and kill and die over, a love to create, a love to make your own, if we can't have a love all our own then what is there, what is left, what is right, what is wrong, are they ever the same, what is correct, what is good, what is pure, what is evil, what does any of it mean, what is black, what is white, how can there be so much grey, grey within grey within grey, from sunup to sundown, we are surrounded by it, you me all of us, this great grey limbo, surrounds us, consumes us, like a monster, like a child, like a baby waiting to be born, borne of us, screeching screaming slimy out into the world, of our minds, hearts, miseries, failures, shortcomings, pain, anguish, hope, loss, fear, joy, prosperity, goodness, effort, deeds, these things that we do, this list of things that we do that we then call a life, bullet bullet bullet asterisk asterisk asterisk page after page after page of ellipses, until it's dark, light, black, white, morning, day, evening, bed, coffin, book, pencil, apple, shoe, cart, table, mirror, statue, box, lamp, coat, coastline, pavement, rug, television television television, sand, dagger, poison, dog, cat, house, garage, ladder, wallet, ring, cry, crawl, laugh, hold, tear, try, try, try again, life, whenever, whatever, until something happens that restarts the cycle, vicious and vicious and vicious and then