How to Notice a Girl

Step 1: Notice the blonde down the block walking towards you. She's wearing a little black dress, black sandals, and looks hot.

Step 2: Play it cool. Where do you look? Should you smile? Can you smile at a girl without someone writing a Huffington Post article about it?

Step 3: Realize she looks a little familiar. Oh man, she is hot!

Step 4: Oh shit, that's Janelle. Look straight ahead and don't make eye contact and keep looking straight ahead and DO NOT LOOK AT HER.

Step 5: Did she even notice you? It was almost two years ago. Would you even occupy a space in her memory?

Step 6: She was looking down at her phone. That would explain if she didn't recognize you. She had her head down! She was taking a selfie! There are reasons!

Step 7: If you noticed her so far away, shouldn't she have noticed you? Two years isn't that long.

Step 8: Remember how you went two weeks without texting or calling. And how once you did you wondered why she never responded.

Step 9: Remember when you took it as a sign that you meant more to her than she did to you. That you were important.

Step 10: Realize that was never the case. Realize that she didn't recognize you down the block.

Step 11: Remember this next time.