"She's opened the chocolates! Dinner will have to wait."
"We should probably get out the shrimp we want to use. It will have to defrost overnight."
"Justine has canceled her plans to come! The gifts, they flow like water from a broken tap."
"I'll freshen your wine for you. The Beaujolais? It's a good year, don't ask me which one."
"No. No, I think it's pronounced Moose-lim."
"Someone once said that golf was like love, that you can do it until you're old. I think it's like love because you're alone."
"I can't imagine anyone not knowing with the knowledge that they know."
"You can't deny me that though, right, yeah, right?!"
"Who was in this bathroom? Who was in this bathroom? Carthy, no! No, Carthy! Not OK! Not OK!"
"I'm represented by Harmon Link. That boy has a stench about him."
"I'm in a Criss Angel cover band. We express his illusions through shredding guitar and double bass solos."
"I think Patty is hot. Patty is cute."
"You know what? If every cousin and best friend just minded their own business I'd have it made in the shade."
"You say tomato and I say fuck off."
"I'm unspeakably clever. No one ever speaks of it."
"Hey! She paid good money for me for that drink for you!"
"There comes a time when one must say—Please, sir, remove me from your list!"
"Wait, what? What do you mean there's no alcohol in the punch? I don't even know what that means."
"We have the technology, I don't know why someone doesn't move on this. We're chewing our meals like suckers."
"One day all of this will be yours. Well, not really."
"If you stop to think about what things actually are you'll never leave your room."
"Has anyone wrapped figs in anything other than bacon? If they have I don't want to know about it!"
"On a scale of one to chlamydia I'd say I'm about at two long showers."
"Kids! Kids? Kids?! Kids?! Hahaha, kids? Kids. Kids... No."
"Everywhere you look something is rotten."
No comments:
Post a Comment