Burritos

Most of my poor decision-making comes in the form of late-night burritos. The Venn diagram is as follows:

(Circle A) Burritos eaten at three AM or later.

(Circle B) Burritos filled with all sorts of nonsense that I shouldn't be adding.

It's the ones that meet in the middle that do the most damage. When it's four and the joint is still open and I think yes I know what I'll do is add guacamole and French fries and you call that a handful of cheese and maybe I better get the bigger one just to make sure I can always save half and eat it tomorrow. But I don't save half. I never save half. The closest I get is waking up at some untoward hour to half smeared on me. This is how I know I'm not secretly The Truman Show. No one would stand for it.

Each burrito is delicious and each burrito is the last. I tried to ween myself, get the frozen ones and have them at the ready. But it's not the same. There's no excitement, there's nothing that can really go wrong. And isn't that was burritos are about anyway?