The Lie

I clipped my nails. I put on cologne, a bit from the bottle I've had since junior high and have been unable to empty. I lubricated my initiative with a handful of beers. I was careful not to get too carried away. Sometimes I can do that.

I spent two hours in front of my closet, looking. Just looking. Thinking about the last thing you'd seen me in. Thinking about the next time we might meet. Thinking about all the days in between. Thinking would I have to see you again.

I ironed a few shirts. T-shirts even. Not my pants but you get the idea. I bought gum.

I waited by the phone. I told you I didn't but that was a lie. I waited by the phone all night, checked it every three minutes. I tried to wait five and I couldn't. But I don't like you so I couldn't tell you that. The lie is a way to keep the power. So I suppose I have gotten something good out of this. I know why people lie.