Along the Lines of Nice

I'm drinking vodka in a parking lot, feeling like a kid. Maybe that's because I'm with kids, kids to me anyway. Sherri asked me to meet her there late and I did. Her cousin, Carmen, is in town. They were meeting up with their friend, Hannah, and some guy, Charlie, visiting from St. Louis. Hannah's not exactly my type, but sexy, the kind of girl I'd only need one drink to feel just confident enough. Charlie wears this newsboys cap that I would think was ironic if it didn't have a Cardinals logo on it. He's nice enough so I take it upon myself to look past it. Carmen has glasses and a ponytail and looks like a girl from a science textbook, that's as much as can be said about her. We stand there sharing Svedka Citron, chasing it with a twenty-ounce Pepsi. It makes me think about all the Pepsi Twists I had back in middle school, back before the cavities. But now it's all a little too sweet for my taste.

Sherri is nineteen. We met at a house party where my band was playing. After our set I grabbed a dollar beer from the bathtub and grabbed a place in the crowd to watch the next group. She was standing next to me, said hey, but it was loud enough where I could ignore her without looking like I was ignoring her. But when I got stuck on deck duty, counting people coming and going and bouncing those that made too many, I'd had several more beers and there was very little escaping her. She said things like You gonna kiss me, and You gonna take me home. When I tried to go back inside my drummer said I was an idiot, she was gorgeous, told me to get back out there and give her the beer I'd just gotten for him. So I did. I heard people commenting when we were making out, good or bad I don't know. She shared her cigarettes, she didn't want to take a cab, she didn't want to sober up, she wanted me to do things I'm not comfortable talking about. And when she told me she was nineteen I started laughing. She was tall.

We ditch the bottles next to some Corolla and go across the street to Humfrey's, a late-night bar I've heard nothing but bad things about. It's late, around two in the morning, but the place is near empty save a few of what I assume are regulars. Right away I see why I hate it. The room is covered in books and bookshelves, the wood is dark, there's a model of an old wooden ship and a couple of busts, Tennyson and Joyce. It's the kind of place that thinks when you add all these together you get class, that somehow it covers up the smell and makes your feet not stick to the floor, that somehow it makes the beer not obviously watered down. It's like covering yourself in cologne without actually bathing, and I can only imagine what the place is like with a couple hundred horny college students packed in playing sexual dominoes. Charlie's twenty-two, and the girls slip in easily with their fakes, or maybe the man at the door just doesn't care. I make some crack about the lack of clientele, he laughs a little and says he knows. When I ask him why it's so empty he give me this look, like I'm an idiot for not knowing. For a second I wonder if it's a holiday.

Charlie gets the first round. I don't like the idea of being in debt to that hat, but a drink's a drink. I go to the bathroom and am baffled by how so few regulars could make such a mess. Thoughts like that are foolish. When I get out I pass Sherri on her way to the ladies' room. She stops me with her hand and thanks me for hanging out with her friends tonight. I tell her no problem, happy to be someplace new. She kisses me. I hate cheap beer but I love the way it tastes on a kiss. I get back to our little high-top table and see four of those cheap beers and Hannah nursing some clear cocktail. They're saying something about the weather, they can't believe it's so windy, and they can't believe the bar has the ceiling fans on. Hannah wishes she had some sort of jacket and Charlie gives her his. She takes it, a bit sheepishly and reluctantly, the way you have to accept something because you just said you wanted it.

There is music, some 90s R&B. Dru Hill comes on, and again I feel like I'm back in middle school. Sherri gets back from the bathroom and notices I'm mouthing the words. She asks me what it is. I ask them if they really don't know the song. None of them do. I am young and old at the same time. Sherri laughs and kisses me again, but it's different for me this time. Who am I to her? What has she told her friends? What do they think I am? I see her reading all this on my face and she asks me if that was OK, the kiss, she's a little embarrassed I think. And it's not that I'm embarrassed, and she shouldn't be either, but I want to be careful of what we do and when and where. I tell her none of this, I give her the look I got from the man at the door, I laugh, and I finish my beer.

I got the next round of drinks and everyone is a little too grateful. Hannah said she just wants a club soda with lime. That's probably what she was drinking earlier. She has on a short sequined-yet-casual dress, silver, plus Charlie's awful North Face. I can't tell whether she thought she was going someplace nicer or if she always looks this good, but even if the bar were full she'd stand out. There's something about the dress, the club soda, and the lime that stirs me up in all the right ways, and I wish to God that I could have met her under different circumstances. Charlie comes up and offers to help me take the drinks over. I can see that he's a good guy. He asks me what I think about Hannah. I say she's a very pretty girl and seems very sweet. He says yeah, looks at her, and tells me that they hooked up last time he was in town, and earlier today when he got in. He looks at me, grinning, fitting right into this place. I don't know what he expects me to say, if he wants a high five or a cookie or what. I think about hitting him, about telling him to have some respect for God's sake. But I muster up something along the lines of Nice and turn my mouth a little more up than down. The drinks arrive, and he takes one beer and the club soda.

Toward the middle of the round Sherri wants to leave, and I say all right. I say good night to Hannah, give her a small hug and kiss on the cheek. I say goodbye to Charlie, shaking his hand, gripping it maybe a little tighter than I normally would, holding his gaze just a little longer than appropriate. I tell Carmen nice to meet her while I walk away. Sherri whispers something into Hannah's ear and looks at her for visual confirmation. She nods, but it's not enough. She nods again, Sherri hugs her, and then it's out the door and back out into the wind.

When we get back to my place I get my last beer out for Sherri because I know she'll ask for it. I stop myself, standing in front of the open fridge, beer in hand, wondering and realizing what I'm doing. Sherri asks if she can have a beer. I hide it in the vegetable crisper and tell her we're out. After we're done she leaves, it's past four in the morning, and her parents' place is a half hour away. I change my bedsheets, oddly awake, oddly aware, relieved and disappointed. By now it's already five, and I'm not sure what the point in sleeping is anymore.