Saltwater

Two weeks from now I will be in California. Sipping margaritas on the soft white sand. I've never been but I don't think I'm far off. Orange trees, palm trees, pomegranate trees on every corner. The new taste of swimming in saltwater.

Two weeks. That gives her almost as much time to change her mind. I should have set a closer date, I should have said, "I'll be there tomorrow." I was thinking too carefully about how to be spontaneous. Maybe that's why she said yes. Say yes now, get out later. Maybe she thought I would come to my senses. Joke's on her, I have none.

I am going to bed early and getting up late. I am taking naps. I am trying to get through this fortnight as quickly as possible. Leaving my phone in the other room, leaving it at home entirely. If I'm not there to answer her call then maybe that call will never come. I am already imagining calls.

Why say yes? Why propose the idea? If you're not going to go through with it. We were both in our right minds, we both knew what we wanted. What we want. Things change, I suppose. You think it's one thing and it ends up being entirely different.