Screeners

"How many people you screened today?"

"Uno."

"Ah."

"Her name was Iska."

"Ooh, foreign, nice."

"It was a thrilling experience."

"Sounds like."

"I bet the next one's gonna be equally thrilling."

"Equal amounts of thrills."

"So many thrills, all day long with the thrills."

"This job, she is a roller coaster."

"She's like if a roller coaster made a baby with a rocketship and she were the baby."

"That's what this job is like."

"Interviewing people who can't put sentences together—"

"Who can't put two words together—"

"Who can't put their names together—"

"And they act as if we should get them the job—"

"Like we should give them the job—"

"That simply by existing they have earned the job—"

"You've earned my boot in your butt."

"Language, language, spies are everywhere."

"I don't care if a floor coach hears me. You'd have to burn this building down and be standing next to the ruin with a bucket of gasoline and a piece of paper stamped with the words THIS IS MY PLAN TO BURN DOWN THE BUILDING WHERE I WORK for them to fire you."

"Empty threats, this place."

"Empty promises."

"It's like if a threat made a baby with a promise and had its guts scooped out with a spade—"

"That's what this job is like."

"And how."

"I wish I didn't have to do something I hate to do something I love. I'm forty years old and I spend a third of my day asking the same questions to the same people getting bossed around by a twelve-year-old so I can spend my entire night in a theatre the size of my coffin. And for what. Why?"

"Everyone does something they hate to do something they love. You're not original. You're not even a remake."

"I guess."

"Just another story."

"I suppose."

"Another tale in the cosmic anthology."

"Now you're reaching."

"Gotta reach for something, buddy. Gotta reach for something."