With the cabinets slamming and the sotto cursing it's a wonder I was even half-asleep. There you were, a door away, making some ungodly midnight breakfast. Was that the time? Surely it was hours later. The plodding process of insomnia alleviation, nothing to do but lie there, think of nothing, don't think at all, keep your eyes closed, wait. A hard task to be sure. Makes it all the harder with the cracking of eggs and the bacon come-hither.
"Shit," I heard you say, "goddammit." A loud sizzle. Something burning, something dropped? I tried to ignore you, tried to ignore everything, stare ahead and let the edges fade. My arms and legs were sore, my ears were cold, my feet were covered by extra blankets. There was no reason not to be asleep. By all accounts I was tired, exhausted even, yet every time I went to shut my eyes the lashes knocked against each other and left me helpless. Our bodies can betray us.
"Fuck." A splat, an egg. Stop making things out, stop listening! What had happened? Gone all day, trouble at work, I really didn't know. I could have gotten out and asked you, interrupted your meal. This is where I am now. Not wanting to interrupt your late night bacon and eggs. This is where we are.
I was finally fading fast, I could tell, I was nearing the finish line, starting line, it didn't matter, wherever I was I was almost there. And then, as if back in freshman English, I jerked. Some place inside was telling me no, don't go, stay away, stay here. The smell was fading fast, I knew I had to act. So I threw off the covers and opened the door.
Dirty dishes. Crumpled paper towels. Television glow from down the hall. And all I had to do was walk down it and ask a simple question.
No comments:
Post a Comment