I find reasons to look away, reasons to have my eyes shut, if affects the way I talk. The tears are coming and there's nothing I can do to stop them, I can make them seem natural and I can try to cover them up. People notice.
Is everything OK, they ask me. Yeah, sure, fine, of course, why wouldn't it be? God knows what's on my hands but I rub my eyes anyway, transmitting whatever filth and grime is on them to my already oppressed opticals. I am squinting, thinking, how did it get this bad.
In a moment the pain is gone, the tears subside, I go back to normal. And it's fine, for a time, until I realize that everywhere, everywhere I look is lights, bright lights, and I find reasons to look away. Boy, I ask, why are you crying?
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