Journal

Ginny and I had another fight. I don't remember how it started and then all a sudden we were fighting, only we had to be kind of quiet because her parents were sleeping upstairs. I wanted to yell at her and I'm sure she wanted to yell at me, too. It's probably better that we didn't, although it's always good to get feelings out.

She mentioned Sam and I guess I freaked out. OK I definitely freaked out. She knows it's a sensitive subject! She says I always get like this. She thinks I'm too jealous and she doesn't like this quote look I get in my eye end quote. It makes her feel less than me. THAT'S WHAT LOOKS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. I'm not even giving it to her on purpose. Am I upset that I give it to her? I don't know. I told her I was though.

I got so mad that I slammed my fist down on my leg over and over and over. But I wanted to slam it down on her leg. And that was weird. I wanted to hit her, to hurt her. Even though she hadn't done anything wrong. And I've never felt that way before. Definitely not about her. I had to tell myself that we've slept together and she and Sam never did. I had to repeat it over and over and over to get me to calm down.

After that we made up (you know what I mean). I just don't know why she would ever go out with him in the first place! Those oily pimples and his stupid laugh! WHAT THE HELL?!? Ugh sorry anyway we made up and then we watched some Seinfeld rerun and she said she doesn't really like Seinfeld and I was like WHAT. Maybe her judgment isn't the best. Or maybe my judgment isn't good. Or maybe we're perfect for each other I don't know.